Filed
If I could gAbsolute Nightmare — Avoid at All Costs!ive this place zero stars
If I could give this place zero stars, negative stars, or a formal warning from the Board of Health, I would. From the exact second we stepped through the door, the vibe was pure hostility. We were greeted by a host who looked at us like we had personally interrupted their nap to ask for an organ donation. After a 40-minute wait for a pre-booked table, we were finally ushered to a cramped corner right next to the kitchen doors, where a steady stream of frantic waitstaff hit my chair every four minutes like clockwork. Then came the food. "Food" is generous. I ordered the medium-rare steak; what arrived looked and tasted like a piece of boiled tire rubber that had been briefly introduced to a lighter in 2012. It was stone-cold in the middle and somehow charred beyond recognition on the outside. My partner’s pasta had the exact consistency and flavor profile of wet cardboard drenched in lukewarm tap water. When we politely pointed out to our server that the dish was missing almost every listed ingredient, they shrugged, chewed their gum loudly, and informed us that "the chef cooks with creative freedom." The climax of the evening occurred when the check arrived, complete with an automatic 25% "Ambience Fee" and a charge for two bottled waters we never ordered. When we asked to speak to the manager, a person emerged from the back, crossed their arms, and actively argued with us for ten minutes about whether or not our food was supposed to be cold. Do not come here. Do not send your enemies here. Keep driving, keep walking, eat a energy bar out of your glovebox—anything is better than spending a single dime at this absolute disaster of an establishment.
Filed by daniel O.